Monday, November 18, 2013

Lady Gaga Deserves 'Applause' as 'Saturday Night Live' Host and Musical Guest

"Saturday Night Live" usually taps actors as its hosts, with the occasional sprinkling of athletes or musicians. This week, Lady Gaga made her debut as host, in addition to being the musical guest. And like so many of her performances, it was fantastic.
Sometimes it feels like Gaga's whole life is just one long performance — life as theater. So, it wasn’t too much of a surprise that she could pull off some smart comedy. The energy she brought felt like a breath of fresh air for the show; in fact, this episode may just be the best so far of the season.
It all started with the monologue (forget the cold open — it’s dead to us these days). Lady Gaga, of course, sang and danced, a monologue staple that usually makes us groan. But she did a clever reworking of her hit song "Applause," which not only poked fun at her public image but also zinged how people get cheap applause by pandering to the audience. The lyrics had shout-outs to ladies, people from out of town, and New York firemen.
Gaga's actual musical performances were more … uh, Gaga-esque in that they sought to shock. R. Kelly showed up to duet with her on "Do What U Want" and the two sort of pantomimed having sex.
Overall, it was a quality evening, at least comedy-wise. Here are the best and worst sketches:
Best: "Blockbuster"
As usual, the best sketch of the week is a pre-recorded one. This is a melancholy masterpiece, an ode to the dying Blockbuster franchise. It captures all the little details that made Blockbuster what it was — the cardboard cut-outs, the stacks of boxes, familiar blue-and-yellow employee polo shirts. This sketch feels like a mini-movie, and even incorporates Lady Gaga as a dream siren.
Runner-up: "Spotlightz"
We really enjoy sketches that are basically just a series of impressions. This bit takes it to another level, with Gaga and the "SNL" cast members playing kids at an acting camp who perform memorable scenes from movies. Gaga kills it as an earnest little girl tackling a scene from "Training Day," and the "Forrest Gump" scene with Vanessa Bayer is brilliant.
Second Runner-up: "The Worst Cover Songs of All Time"
Like the sketch above, this is a series of impressions, this time of singers doing really mismatched cover songs  like Britney Spears ruining "Hallelujah" or Adele "singing" the "L.A. Law" theme song. Gaga even pokes fun of herself doing a cover of "Express Yourself." The best one is Lil Wayne and Susan Boyle covering Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire." It's simultaneously horrifying and hilarious.
Worst: "Condo Co-op Board"
Even the best "SNL" episodes have duds, and this definitely falls into that category. It has no energy, the "jokes" are thin, and the sketch feels all over the place.
Best Use of Host: "Talent Pageant"
This isn't so much a sketch as just a few minutes of totally weird craziness. But we like it! Gaga's enthusiasm, at this late stage in the hour, is infectious, and she and new cast member John Milhiser spark as overbearing stage parents of a fourth grader. We don't always require a "big idea" for a sketch, and this one shows that sometimes just being wacky can be funny.
Best Impressions: "Waking Up With Kimye"
Real applause to Jay Pharoah for a side-splitting take on Kanye West! Nasim Pedrad has done Kim before, and she is as good as ever. Kanye gets mad at an Apple store employee (played by Gaga) for daring to use the word "genius," as in Genius Bar. It's all genius!
Best Character: Jebediah Atkinson, "Weekend Update"
Ever since the departure of Bill Hader and Stefon, "Weekend Update" has felt a bit empty. But Taran Killam introduces a new character named Jebediah, who is the one critic who trashed Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address ("With dialogue that clunky, I'm surprised he was shot by an actor. Too soon?!"). We foresee Jebediah becoming an "Update" regular — and we approve.

Check out Twitter reactions to Lady Gaga's "SNL," and then sound off in the comments below!

Washington IL tornado ranked as EF-4; victim ID'd

 at 06:28 PM today
Gov. Pat Quinn visited the towns hardest hit by recent tornadoes Monday, including Washington, Ill., where an EF-4 touched down. At least six people in Illinois were killed.
Washington is a town of about 15,000 people, located east of Peoria. Between 250 and 500 buildings were damaged or destroyed and about 120 people were injured in Washington, where winds reached an estimated 170 to 190 miles per hour.
One tornado-related death was reported in Washington. Authorities said the body of Washington resident Steve Neubauer, 51, was found on School Street near his home. The outline of a foundation is what remains of the one-story house that once stood here, where Steve Neubauer's life came to a sudden end. He is remembered as a man who loved his family, his boat and his friends.
"The best guy you would ever want to know. He'd do anything for you, help you do anything," said Jerry McGuire, co-worker and best friend.
There wasn't much time to react to this horrible storm, and the home collapsed around him.
"Beth was down at the bottom of the stairs and she was looking up at Steve and it just all went away. . . You gotta be here for him, it was cut too short for him," said McGuire.
Steve's brother Craig is too distraught to talk about his 51-year old brother on camera. They were very close, and the family resemblance is striking. Steve's friends and co-workers from the construction company are gathered here to console and to clean up what they can, which isn't much.
"Great guy, great mechanic, loved boating, loved racing, loved his wife," said Bruce Tesdall, co-worker.
Washington residents tell stories of survival, survey destruction
On Monday afternoon, media needed a police escort to drive into Washington, Illinois. In every direction, as far as the eye can see, is destruction.
The mayor of Washington said many residents were in church when the tornado touched down.
At First Baptist Church in Washington, Pastor Joshua Monda had a full house for Sunday services.
"I had just started my sermon when one of my member's cell phones alerted us to a tornado in our area," said Pastor Joshua Monda, First Baptist Church.
Pastor Joshua Monda shepherded his flock into the church basement, and then recorded video on his cell phone.
"Everybody inside! It's on the ground guys!" said a woman on the cell phone video.
The tornado missed the church, and its members sprang into action. What they found was a town torn apart, and an entire subdivision flattened.
"It was just crazy to see your hometown destroyed like this," said Collin Rogers, Washington, Ill. resident.
We came across Collin Rogers and some friends searching what was his in-laws home. What they're searching for is a bit unclear.
Eyewitness News reporter Ben Bradley asks: "How do you even begin to know what to take and what to leave?
Rogers: "We're taking a lot of pictures and a lot of sentimental things that could mean something to the family. Valuables. But there's not a lot left."
A bit further into what was a solidly built subdivision of nice homes, we found Tomaz Fleury.
"This blue bag is my friend's house, this is my house," said Tomaz Fleury, Washington, Ill. resident.
The salvageable possessions of an entire house, contained in one bag. Repeat the scene 200 more times and you understand the magnitude of what happened here.
"Behind the house, a guy was buried in debris. We took him out. Old man, 80-year-old neighbor. Very bruised," said Fleury.
"Just total devastation. Amazed. You always think it happens to somebody else, not your neighborhood. Not your friends, right?" said Noel Zerbonia, Washington, Ill. resident.
The question we heard from person after person, block after block: How did so many survive such a severe strike?
And perhaps that's adding to the perspective here: Even from the kids who were looking forward to a state semi-final playoff game this weekend.
"I ran into the football coach and asked him about the game and he said the kids don't care, they're worried about their community," said Gary Manier, Washington, Ill. mayor.
If anyone has seen the damage left behind by Hurricane Katrina or the tornado Joplin, Missouri, that's what the devastation in Washington looked like Monday.
In the midst of the sea of debris is what remains of Kris Lancaster's home. He was asleep Sunday, but his kids were up when the sirens started wailing.
The family watched as the tornado approached. Kris, with his smartphone, was determined to keep rolling on the video. With his wife and kids safely in the basement, Lancaster planted himself in a doorway.
"It kept coming and coming and coming, and I watched my daughter's playhouse fly off into the desert or somewhere," he said.
With deafening sound, debris flying everywhere, Lancaster chose to stay with the shot.
"I honestly thought I was going to heaven to be with Dad. I didn't think I'd be alive," Lancaster said.
Lancaster caught some debris in his right eye, which now ears a patch. Otherwise, he is OK. His wife and kids are fine, as well, but waking up Monday morning brought a hard reality - an enormous challenge for the Lancaster family and everyone in the tight-knit community now: rebuilding. A portion of the community is now homeless. It is not known exactly how many people.
Many homeowners told similar stories, saying they headed for the basements, waited the tornado out, and when it was over, they came back upstairs to find their homes flattened and many belongings gone.
"I'm devastated, sad. I feel for all the families," said Lancaster.
The tornado was on the ground in Washington for possibly two to three miles, carving up everything in its path.
A curfew was enforced in Washington overnight 6 p.m. to 7 a.m. Monday. Checkpoints stood at the main entrances to the town where drivers had to prove they lived in the town to enter. Other roads were blocked completely due to severe damage.
The Illinois National Guard dispatched 10 firefighters to Washington. A news release by the National Guard followed reports that people were trapped in buildings after the severe weather.
Area hospitals set up a temporary emergency medical care facility in Washington. One official in a nearby hospital said it was unclear how many people were injured or the severity of those injuries. Steve Brewer of the Methodist Medical Center of Illinois in Peoria says a few people have come to the hospital and about 15 more had gone to another area hospital.
BrookportIllinois State Police say three people killed in a tornado near Brookport were all from around the 1,000-resident city in far southern Illinois.
Police say 63-year-old Scholitta Burrus, 58-year-old Kathy George and 56-year-old Robert Harmon died in the storm Sunday afternoon.
Alderman Larry Call says the twister damaged dozens of homes on the Massac County town's outskirts but spared much of the inner portion of the community, which is along the Ohio River in Massac County.
A tornado hit Brookport, tearing through two mobile home parks and destroyed dozens of homes. The Illinois National Guard is helping crews with search and rescue efforts there as well. A curfew was in effect for Brookport from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. Anyone who does not live in Brookport was allowed into the town during the curfew.
New Minden, Washington County, Ill.Two people died in Washington County near St. Louis. A coroner says two people were killed when a tornado hit their home in rural southern Illinois.
Washington County coroner Mark Styninger said the elderly man and his sister died Sunday afternoon in their farmhouse in the town of New Minden, about 50 miles southeast of St. Louis.
The storm that struck New Minden was part of a series of intense thunderstorms and tornadoes that swept across the Midwest on Sunday, causing extensive damage in several central Illinois communities.
Cleanup in Illinois, around the countryTwo people in Michigan also died during the severe weather. The National Weather Service reports the severe weather system on Sunday produced approximately 80 tornadoes that leveled scores of homes and demolished entire neighborhoods.
Governor Quinn declared seven Illinois counties disaster areas.
Jonathon Monken, director of the Illinois Emergency Management Agency, says the late-season storms were an "unprecedented event" in the state for November.
Ameren Illinois' outage center shows there were about 19,000 customers without power Monday afternoon. The highest concentration is near Peoria, although outages are scattered across central and far southern Illinois. At the peak of the outages, the utility said about 140,000 customers had no power.

Also on the governor's tour schedule Monday were Diamond, Gifford, Brookport and New Minden, Ill.
ABC7 has received reports of debris, such as pictures, W2s and checks, from downstate Washington and Pekin, Ill., being found as far away as Shorewood and Countryside in the southwest Chicago suburbs.

U.S. Senator Dick Durbin (D-Illinois) released a written statement on Sunday night regarding the severe weather outbreak: "My thoughts and prayers are with all those affected by today's severe storms. I am receiving regular updates from Illinois emergency officials and local leaders including those from Washington, Illinois one of the areas that was hardest hit today. While we don't yet know the full extent of the damage, it is clear that coordinated local, state and federal resources will be needed to rebuild. I stand ready to work with my colleagues in that effort."
RED CROSS SHELTERS
The Red Cross is mobilizing operations out of the Greater Chicago Region and Peoria chapters to respond. Two shelters are open in the Chicago area, one in southern Cook County and another in Grundy County. In addition, four more shelters are open in central Illinois where the communities of Washington and Pekin were hit hard. Locations include:

  • New Community Church - 14801 Lincoln Ave. in Dolton
  • Coal City High School 655 W. Division St. in Coal City
  • Crossroads United Methodist Church 1420 N. Main St in Washington
  • Evangelical United Methodist Church 401 Main St in Washington
  • First United Methodist Church 154 E. Washington St in East Peoria
  • Avanti's Dome 3105 Griffin Avenue in Pekin


State-by-state look at storm, tornadoes in Midwest
INDIANA
Severe thunderstorms packing tornadoes and heavy winds rolled across Indiana Sunday afternoon and evening, injuring several people and causing widespread damage.
Gov. Mike Pence said 12 counties reported either tornadoes or storm damage after the initial line of storms had traveled midway across Indiana.
Kokomo police asked residents to stay home and off the streets after city officials declared a state of emergency in the wake of severe storms.
The city police department posted photos on its Twitter account showing buildings with roofs torn off and a destroyed bank branch. City officials also took to Twitter to tell residents to clear the way for first responders.
NIPSCO was reporting 46,000 customers are without power Sunday evening, mostly in Lake and Porter Counties. They say progress is being made, as a number of trees and power lines are down.
OHIO
Storms packing strong winds and the potential for tornadoes were starting to roll into western Ohio on Sunday night.
The National Weather Service had issued tornado warnings and watches for several counties along the state's western edge.
Heavy afternoon rains soaked football fans in Cincinnati where the Bengals beat the Cleveland Browns. Some pre-game activities outside the stadium had to be canceled because of the forecast.
MISSOURI
Severe storms slammed the eastern part of Missouri, leaving tens of thousands without power and destroying a mobile home.
Ameren Missouri reported more than 37,000 outages Sunday afternoon, mostly in the St. Louis area.
The National Weather Service said the storm tore shingles off of roofs and uprooted trees across parts of St. Louis and St. Louis County.
WISCONSIN
Strong winds knocked out power to thousands in the Milwaukee area, damaged buildings and downed trees in Dodge County and sent Sunday churchgoers scrambling into church basements for safety.
In the town of Hustisford, cattle sheds, garages and storage sheds were damaged, said Dodge County Emergency Management Director Joseph Meagher said. No injuries were immediately reported, he said.
MICHIGAN
High winds and rain slammed into the western part of the state. There are no immediate reports of injuries, but Consumers Energy reported thousands of power outages, especially east of U.S. 131 between Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo.
Churches in western Michigan canceled evening worship services.
KENTUCKY
The National Weather Service issued a tornado watch for several counties in southern Kentucky.
Forecasters said the watch would be in effect until 7 p.m. Sunday for Trigg, Todd, Christian, and Calloway counties, and until 9 p.m. for Simpson, Logan and Allen counties. A wind advisory was also in effect for Louisville and the surrounding area.
(The Associated Press contributed to this story.)

(Copyright ©2013 WLS-TV/DT. All Rights Reserved.)

Loss to Broncos exposes possible fatal flaw in Chiefs' game

Try as they might, Dwayne Bowe and the Chiefs couldn't keep up with Denver's offense in a 27-17 loss.
Robert Beck/SI
DENVER -- This was, of course, the working assumption all along with these Kansas City Chiefs. We were waiting to see their obvious weakness exploited. The standings said the Chiefs were a "perfect'' 9-0 entering Sunday night's AFC West showdown against Denver, but everyone knew where their vulnerability was.
If they get ahead, they're likely going to stay ahead. But if they fall behind, well, Sunday night at Sports Authority Field told the sad story on that front.
The Chiefs have many strengths, but they simply aren't made to play catch-up ball, or deal with a deficit of any magnitude. The first opponent to put them into a significant hole was going to beat them, and that eventuality came to pass against Denver, which got out to a 10-0 first-quarter lead and was never truly in danger of losing to the NFL's last remaining unbeaten team.

The 1972 Dolphins might be celebrating with their ritual champagne -- their 17-0 perfect season is still a singular event -- but it was Kansas City that learned a sobering truth about itself against Denver.
Make no mistake, the Broncos' 27-17 victory over Kansas City did not represent Denver's best punch -- far from it. The Chiefs still couldn't take it. Kansas City has thrived by winning low-scoring games this season, and this wasn't even low-scoring enough for its purposes. The Broncos (9-1) at one point built a 14-point advantage over the Chiefs, and with the way K.C. is built to win, 14-point deficits are very tall mountains to climb.
"They got us today,'' said Chiefs first-year head coach Andy Reid, experiencing defeat for the first time since his last game in Philadelphia, last Dec. 30. "To start with, when you've got the opportunity to score touchdowns against this team, you've got to score touchdowns and not kick field goals. I thought out defense gave us (a chance). But we've got to take full advantage of that.''
The Chiefs (9-1) didn't fail miserably in this big-stage setting, but they did fail. And the skeptics will say this is what happens when Reid's team isn't facing a backup quarterback, as it seemed to do so often over the course of its somewhat charmed season. Or they will say that this is what happens when the Chiefs' running game doesn't dominate, their pass rush doesn't overwhelm, and their game-manager quarterback (Alex Smith) doesn't have a lead to preserve and protect. This game illustrated that Kansas City's margin of error is relatively small on offense, and it can't survive against good teams when it turns the ball over in the red zone (as it did on fullback Anthony Sherman's fumble at Denver's 16-yard line in the first quarter), or settles for chip-shot field goals (a 20-yarder by Ryan Succop in the second quarter) instead of touchdowns.
The Chiefs were never really out of this game, but in some ways, it felt as if they were never really in it, either. That's the problem with a team that isn't equipped or constructed to score quickly or play from behind. A two-score game feels like it's out of reach, and a double-digit deficit seems like it carries the weight of a much larger gap.
Coming into the Denver game, the Chiefs hadn't faced any deficit larger than seven points this season. That makes sense for a team that tied an NFL record of not allowing more than 17 points in any of its first nine game. The Chiefs have played their share of tight games, but they haven't faced the firepower that the Broncos can throw at you, and the challenge Sunday night was to keep up with a Denver team on a record scoring pace.
"Well, not good enough,'' said Smith, when asked how he felt this team fared playing from substantially behind for the first time this season. "I felt like we put ourselves in holes and didn't start fast enough in the first quarter. We got behind and they got us one dimensional. When they get up a couple scores, you have to answer. We weren't able to get it done tonight. In the third quarter, we had a couple chances to make that game tight, and we couldn't get it done. We hurt ourselves with penalties and with a turnover in the red zone.''
This time, the Chiefs' defense did not ride to the rescue of the less-than-explosive Kansas City offense, as it did in Week 9 at Buffalo, when a pair of second-half defensive touchdowns helped the Chiefs out-last the Bills. Kansas City came into the Denver game leading the NFL in sacks with 36, but never laid a hand on banged-up Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning. Denver's 37-year-old QB threw 40 passes, completing 24 for 323 yards and a touchdown, but never had to endure any more pounding on his sore right ankle, on which he wore a brace that was visible through his sock.
Zero hits on Manning had to be this game's most shocking headline, but the Broncos' offensive line did yeoman work, Manning moved away from pressure in the pocket adeptly, and the Chiefs' pass rush has been a bit slacking of late. After getting to opposing quarterbacks 35 times in the season's first seven games, K.C. has just one sack in its past three games, and its good fortune of facing quarterbacks named Gabbert, Fitzpatrick, Keenum, Pryor, Campbell and Tuel ended abruptly when it stepped up in weight class against the likes of Manning -- gimpy or not.
"I thought he did a good job of getting the ball out fast, and I thought he worked the pocket pretty well,'' Reid said. "There were times when we had pressure and you saw him slide and throw opposite (side), which isn't an easy thing to do. He's a pretty good quarterback. He did that and got away with a couple that most guys wouldn't be able to get away with.''
Smith and the Chiefs' passing offense tried to take their shots down the field at times, but they couldn't produce the chunks of yardage needed to keep up with the Broncos. Smith's longest completion went for 26 yards, to receiver Dwayne Bowe, and his 21-of-45 passing night for 230 yards, to go with three sacks and two touchdowns, wasn't enough to hang with Manning. It was two teams bringing different kinds of weapons to the same fight, and the results were predictable.
Denver scored 10 more points than Kansas City had allowed all season, and the 17 points the Chiefs scored normally would have won most of their games. But not this one. Not with the Broncos throwing for 323 yards, or 50 more than K.C. had given up to any opponent. Not with running back Jamaal Charles totaling a good but not great 78 yards rushing on 16 carries. And not with the Chiefs committing nine penalties for 53 yards.
"It's terrible. It's not fun,'' said Smith, of losing, after bringing a starting record of 28-5-1 since the beginning of 2011 into the game. "As great as it is to win, it's that lousy when you lose, especially in a division game, Sunday Night Football. It's a big game and a big environment. To come here and come up short hurts and stings. But it's good in some ways. We have to find a way to deal with it. How many teams have ever gone undefeated given the history of football? We have to find a way to get better and prepare for next week. We see them again in two weeks, but we have to prepare for another big division game next week against San Diego. These games keep getting bigger.''
That they do, and the question the Chiefs left unanswered by this game is whether they will be able to elevate their play as the stakes rise? The thinking was that Kansas City could find a silver lining for the rematch in two weeks even with a loss Sunday night, providing they roughed up Manning a little bit and maybe got him to aggravate his tender ankles, or at the very least proved they could stay on the field and slug it out with the high-scoring Broncos. But they seemingly accomplished neither of those goals, and that is sure to affect how the Chiefs approach the rematch in Arrowhead in Week 13.
The Chiefs found out Sunday that Denver can beat them playing Kansas City's type of game more readily than they can match the Broncos' style of play. For now, the doubts about the Chiefs' vulnerabilities didn't get erased, they only got accentuated. Maybe the story will be different in two weeks. But maybe the AFC West shifted for good here with this outcome, as our assumptions about Kansas City's offensive limitations proved true.

Bitcoin: What is it? What should government do?

Lawmakers are grappling with how and whether to regulate the virtual currency


Virtual currency Bitcoin is "experimental" and remains "high risk" for most consumers, the Bitcoin Foundation's general counsel told a Senate committee in a hearing Monday on the emerging technology.
Lawmakers are bedeviled by a technology whose growing popularity has raised questions about whether or how it should be regulated, said Homeland Security Committee Chairman Tom Carper, D-Del.
"Virtual currencies, perhaps most notably Bitcoin, have captured the imagination of some, struck fear among others and confused the heck out of many of us," Carper said. "Fundamental questions remain about what a virtual currency actually is, how it should be treated and what the future holds."
Protecting consumers remains problematic for Bitcoin and other decentralized virtual currencies, said Patrick Murck, general counsel for the Bitcoin Foundation, a non-profit organization that promotes the virtual currency and its technology.
"This is a high-risk environment, and potentially it's not quite ready for mass consumer adoption," Murck said.
Officials at the Justice and Treasury departments have recognized Bitcoin and other virtual currencies as legitimate and financially viable. Bitcoin's popularity and value have soared, topping $650 for a single Bitcoin on Monday.
Bitcoin is digital cash for the Internet. It operates by person-to-person exchange without a bank or central monetary authority, such as the Federal Reserve, to regulate it or issue it. It can be used to purchase real goods and services.
Bitcoin can be purchased and exchanged for standard currency, such as dollars, euros and yen, at Bitcoin exchanges, but Bitcoins have fluctuated wildly in value. When Bitcoin first emerged in 2009, it sold for less than a dollar.
Bitcoin offers the advantages of low exchange fees, no variance in value from country to country and near-instantaneous transfer.
Advocates of virtual currencies say the digital cash could transform economies in developing countries where people have little access to banks and financial services. Anyone can use it. The software for creating a Bitcoin "wallet," allowing a user to send and receive Bitcoin, is public and can be used on a mobile phone.
At the same time, however, "virtual currencies can be an effective tool for those looking to launder money, traffic illegal drugs and even further the exploitation of children around the world," Carper said.
For virtual currencies to operate within the U.S. financial system and retain their legitimacy, they must abide by the same regulations as other financial institutions, including anti-money-laundering protections such as reporting suspicious transactions and maintaining records, said Jennifer Shasky Calvery, director of the Treasury Department's Financial Crimes Enforcement Network.
"While innovation is a wonderful thing, it does come with obligations," Shasky said. "We believe (regulation) is reasonable given that we have seen that virtual currency has been exploited by criminal actors."
Last month, federal agents shut down the Silk Road, a website on an underground network known as Tor that dealt in illegal drugs, forged documents and illegal services such as computer hacking and hit men. The website conducted all business in Bitcoin. Federal agents valued the transactions at $1.2 billion.
Still, Shasky said, "Cash is probably still the best medium for money laundering."

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